Connection Is Key

Hello everyone, today's episode is all about connection with your partner and how vital it is for a healthy and happy relationship. 

Connection is the foundation of any strong and lasting relationship, and it's something that I've come to value deeply in my own life.

In this episode, I'll be sharing my personal experience with connection, the impact that it has had on my life and my relationships, and what I did to foster and maintain it.

This episode is all about empowering all couples to create and maintain a strong and meaningful connection in their relationships. 

Hope you enjoy!

Transcript

Sarah 0:00

Hello beautiful soul, I'm Sarah Michaels, and welcome to the Elated You podcast, where we dive deep into the world of self discovery, growth and healing to find out who you truly are. Today's episode is about respect versus connection. And, I think this is a really big one that I don't hear a lot of people talk about because, maybe it was my upbringing, I'm not sure but for me, I really had it drilled into me that respect was everything. And it is don't get me wrong, not everything, but it is really important that you know, in a relationship, you know, if there's no respect, I remember my dad would say things like, if you don't respect each other, then the marriage is over. That's it! Finish! Respect is the key… respect, respect, you know, it's like it was just fucking drilled into me so hard, even like with the parents, like everything was about respecting your parents. And it was like respecting your elders respecting the people around you. Everything was about respect, but one thing I know in my marriage is there was a stage in our marriage where we didn't respect each other for a long time, and I'm going to be really honest and vulnerable and it was because how can you respect another human being, when you don't respect yourself? Like… fully, and you might not even know what that means; respecting yourself. You know, respecting yourself is a list of things is, is boundaries is loving yourself enough… That's respect! So how can we respect another person, right, more or even respect them if we don't respect ourselves?  So, we started to try and work on that respect aspect, but it just wasn't working. It was like, I'm trying to respect you, but I can't I was like, I was really struggling. And then we found the respect and we became respectful to each other. We were very respectful… right! So ok, now we're respectful. You see couples are very respectful, that are very respectful to each other. You see, older couples are very respectful. That doesn't mean that they're in a beautiful loving relationship. It just means that they're respectful, which is lovely. Right? Stay with me and don't misinterpret what I'm saying, but, what is really key is connection, because all we want as humans is to connect, is to be seen, and that is something that I wasn't taught and I don't know about you, and I'd love to hear like leave a review, let me know like, were you talk about connection, and being seen by your partner? Because, I can tell you now, people are struggling to be seen. Most people want to be seen. That is what their suffering is coming from, but they don't even know it, like, we have this yearning for something that we don't know what it is. Like, I didn't know that I wanted to be seen, that I needed more from my partner, but I could never name it. And I remember working with a coach, my mentor, and he just kept telling me like, what does that look like to you? And I was just looking at him blankly and going… ummm, to see me, I want him to see me. And he's like, but what does that look like? Like you've got to be specific. And then he said to me, like you want to be seen but you don't even know what that looks like. And I was like fuck actually, that's right. I do. So I'm here I am wanting this connection or wanting to be seen by my partner, but I actually did not know what that looked like. And it may be different for everybody, but now I have it, and I can tell you now, it is the most beautiful thing to have a connection with your partner and to be seen fully by your partner. When he looks at me intensely, you know, after being together for 12 years. He doesn't look at me the way he looked at me when we first started dating, which was always you know, I believe a very sexual superficial way. And plus that, you know, that beginning and that spark that you have in the beginning of a relationship, we all know that that fades and it doesn't it's normal. It's normal that it fades. So it's not the respect that's keeping it alive. And this is my opinion, right? So this is just my interpretation and this is from my experience. I haven't got this from anywhere… this is what I believe this is what has come through to me, and I believe that connection is key, more so than respect because when you can when you when your partner has connected, when you and your partner have connected in a way on a deeper level, and they see you, see you for the person that you are, you can't help but have respect for them. So it's like the minute my husband started to see me in a way that I've been yearning for for so long… so long, it just reminds me and it takes me back to all the times that I would go out with guys. I never went out with them for the intimacy, it wasn't for the sex, it wasn't for… that's not what I was yearning. It was the connection and to be seen. And so when we got to that point when we have that now that we have that, I can see and respect him so much more. He now to me is the man, is the king alongside all the other things as well, like, we've worked through a lot of the inner child stuff, and so you know, we don't throw the tantrums and so we see each other differently as well, but, I just really wanted to drop that in here, because, I think it's really important that we get really clear on what connection and what being seen looks like. And if you don't know maybe it's time that you started to work on yourself a little bit deeper, on a deeper level because that's what it took for me. It took me going inside and working hard on myself to really know what it is that I need. What does this little girl inside me need? Because it's her that wants to be seen to yeah? So, if you're looking for that connection for yourself, or you know for you and your partner, then maybe it's time to start working with someone that understands you or someone that you resonate with, like you know, there's so many people out there in this work for me for me I mean, I'm mentoring now one on one, I'm doing six week programs as well in group sessions where you're not only seen by me, and learning how to see yourself, but you're being seen by other women, and that's important too, but that's another episode sisterhood. So, look, I hope this resonated with you and if it did, please drop a comment, let me know, I love hearing the feedback and thank you Thanks for listening… If you found value in this content, please subscribe to my podcast and head over to Instagram @elated_you, to see what I'm getting up to… Bye
 
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