Episode 20 - Mental Health & LOL's with Meg Richards

In today's episode, I'll be having a conversation with Meg from Kruz Creations. 

She's going to share with us her personal story of overcoming mental health challenges and how she rose to fame on Instagram. 

Meg is going to be vulnerable and open up about her journey, and I'm so excited to hear what she has to say. 

I hope you enjoy!

Transcript

So this morning I've got Meg from Cruz creations. Meg is a creative photographer. And some of you may know her as a comedian like I did. I thought she was a stand up comedian because she's known for her funny reels her reels have hit over. I think some of them I just saw was like almost 7 million views, which is incredible. So if you haven't checked her out, please go check her out. It's Cruz creations on Instagram. And she is hilarious. So welcome, Meg. Hello. Thank you so much. That was lovely introduction. It's true, isn't it? Because I actually met and I went up to her and as we were talking, I was talking about my comedy and talking about her comedy and how I just stopped talking about comedy because I really thought that you were a comedian. Yeah, and I felt really rude when I saw you speaking thinking, wow, she's a photographer. Not know that and it's really in your bio.
 
 I think we're all just taken aback by your funny funny reels. So today I want to speak about that. Today's episode, I want to speak about how you got into it, and how you've linked them to together because a lot of people you know, wonder whether they can do that. And also, you know, although we see how much love you get, and how you know, how many views and likes and whatever, and you've got this massive following of over 290,000 people. You also get a lot of hate and that's what comes with that and people don't see that and I know you spoke about that at the event. So I'd love to speak into that as well as your I guess your your your mental health. You know, that's something that I was really shocked and got really emotional about when I heard you speaking. I was really taken aback by that because people do they get really taken aback by it because they see this person they're just like, Wait, holy shit, there's so much more behind the scenes, you know? Yeah. And we're all looking at you going on and be like her. And you know, she might not want to be like you.
 
 Isn't it crazy? So, you know, I'd love to start with how did you so you were a photographer and you had your business page and then you just one day did this random, you know, dorky real? You actually did a few reels. And if anyone wanted to waste time, they could happily go back through the start of the era and watch them but they were like photography reels like how to take a photo. And I was like, take a photo of a thong. And like it'd be funny and I'd still make it like a bit humorous.
 
 But they were more like hands like a photo and I wanted to do really good reels in like the photography industry, like given tips for photography, and I'm even talking about meet mag. And then I was like, Oh my God, and then my boyfriend was like, you need to do something like funny like, I just think they boring. And like he will say it how it is to it. And I was like, wow, that is so good. Why isn't our lacking though?
 
 Also, you didn't get the like, straightaway. Good. No, it took a while I took like, it takes some perseverance to happen overnight. But, like the short it doesn't matter. Just come you know.
 
 And anyway, and then I was like, No, I'm just so how boring This is and like this is boring. And I don't even want to watch so in their mind.
 
 Ah, I just realized how big my dimple looks in the camera. I was like, what is that? Oh, it's my dimple. Sorry. Kind of see it. Is that a dimple?
 
 Anyway, I just noticed that I'm like oh yeah, and then I was like no I'm gonna make I'm gonna do saying something else like I'm just so sick of it being so style and vanilla. So yeah, I just saw I watch reels all day long. I've just always have said like this is like the best thing Instagrams done at the time. Now it's a bit of a catch 22 But and then yeah, I was I was gonna do this real I was gonna put it out there. And then it didn't really go off straightaway, but like in a few days, a few days and I was like, Oh my God, my phone was like going off there had notifications on them. And I was like, like, like, like Legos. I was like going nuts. And I was like, Holy shit, what is going on? And yeah, there's my first my reel that originally took off was over God like 1618 months ago, maybe a month, 16 months, and then it got over 11 million views and like a few months I live in New in Oh wow. So even more than what I've seen when it did like the first OG one that took me off was that real and it went for like 10 seconds.
 
 And if anyone's interested in watching it, you go right back and you'll find this find the 11 point 6 million view one and it's that one. Anyway and then I made more I was like it's happening you know, I really kind of manifested it anyway to happen because I was like I really want this to happen so bad. I'll do whatever it takes, you know, quit my job to work for crews full time so I had no choice but to make it work.
 
 And then yeah, I just kept making reels and some of them didn't do as well and I was like oh what's happening? Maybe it's just a one off thing you know, like a like a one hit one because that does happen. Yeah. And then now I'm on X feels fun, good momentum and then another reel that I did and then return of the mack reel that one went that was amazing. I actually when I hear that, you know what this is really incredible baby because like I said I really thank you for accepting to come on my podcast because you that song. I think of you my family thinks of you. Oh my god.
 
 Yeah, because it's like just your face and all of it. It's just like yeah, it now has a connection to you. It does actually manifested this Yeah, exactly. And I think I think that real that I did someone sent it to me. Someone sent me the song and said, Oh my God, you need to do real to this song. I was like, okay, whatever. And then I was still making reels and I'm still doing quite well. I'm gonna do the return to the Mac and the return of the Mac is really actually what just went bursted like it went balls like it that's what really boosted my account as well. And that was only this year. I wanted this year last year.
 
 Oh, no, actually, I think it was last year. Maybe the end of last year pick the song as the song from like, you just you downloaded it or did you use it as a you know, the or someone else use I just didn't know I just found the audio on the song that Morrison return to the mat. Oh, so that was that became your original then everybody started to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think there's something similar maybe on Tik Tok. But yeah, I think my anyway, someone's actually made a Tik Tok account for me and like, when I'm typing cruise creations, it's like tick tock. Can you always these on rails of my tic tock my video on tick tock, and I'm like, Oh my god. Well, people recognize me they go oh, you that tick tock girl and I'm like, Oh, I'm on Instagram. But yeah, whatever.
 
 Time you're even at the airport and the sharps tick tock girl. I'm thinking myself Why is it called me the Tick Tock girl I understand because Oh, I think it's because so many of my tips my reels have been what's the word? Do not duplicate and the double screen thing the remix the remix similar never same screen recorded it and then put it on tick tock seeing that and it's the friggin month Morrison return to the mat.
 
 Yeah, wow. Okay. Wow, that's awesome. Isn't it? It's incredible hit making them and I just was like, this is the best shit I could just make. I just wanted to take a week off work and make rules like I was addicted to making rules. I just thought it was so fun and then science joy out of it and funny and people liked me and like people like me like even that blew my mind even to this day like people like me. They don't like you babe. They fucking love you.
 
 Love you. They love you. I feel so just like, less like I'm constantly humbled by it. Were you that clown in school? Like were you the funny one all the time or is this just happened like you my friends? My family. I'm the very one the witchy like can really pick up a short like isn't really funny really quickly.
 
 My sisters laugh at me my mom I sit there laugh at me. My partner has always laughed at me My in laws of I've always been like funny yeah, yeah. And really glad like light hearted and really kind of say shit that people shouldn't say out loud as well. And at school yeah, I wasn't but my friends would always laugh at me like I always. You know, I was always I always liked being funny and like laughing and on and off.
 
 What made you choose photography and not comedy? Oh, I just I wouldn't have thought that I would be up to the challenge to Oh, comedy. I just think it's such a yeah, a lot of fear. And oh, it's just yeah, I don't think it was something that I thought I could even do. It wasn't even it. It wasn't even a blip on my radar like to be a comedian Oh, it was more. I just like to entertain people and make people laugh in general and it wouldn't add the comedian comedy thing that side of it wouldn't even wouldn't even come to me until you know, people have said to me, oh my god, you should be on SNL you should be on stand out. You should be doing comedy and I'm like, I'm like, what? Yeah, 100% me, you know. Yeah. And that's, that comes down to the self worth and the fear and there's a lot of fear to get up and do your digital stuff. And the reason why I say that is because when I saw you at fin con, the fame of the event I was really shocked when you came on the stage. What I was expecting was for you to do your funny stuff. And because you're so funny, all you have to do is just stand there by yourself. Like, literally just be yourself. Yeah, but instead you went up with, you know, like PowerPoint and all that stuff. And I didn't even need to see you do that. And I know you probably just thought that's what I got to do. But I want you to know that we would have just loved to just hear you and see you. Just be you because it's you that we actually really like and love you just as yourself. I just don't think that I'm like I know I need to know. People don't probably don't know who I am like who the fuck says nobody. I mean, we all knew who you aren't Can I be honest with you? I actually needed to leave early and I had told SHINee that I needed to leave early that day and I had come with a friend and brought a friend and client friend along and I needed to leave early that day because I had people coming over and I just booked the event and I actually booked the event when I saw that you were coming.
 
 You told me that when I saw you I spoke to you and then and I was like I'm staying I have my bag ready to go until you finish and I listen to a bit of Chinese I couldn't even stay to the end but like I stayed like I was like oh the lift the best to last you know? And it's like, well, it's crazy because how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us is such a different really is it really really is like yeah you had those really positive moments that people have you meet me and tell me really lovely things and then you get people who just be like, Who do you think you are? You know, and you really take on board the negative and that's what's really hard about it and you really need to take on the positive. Have you heard about the Man in the Arena? No I'm gonna read it actually. Because it's a really incredible story. And I'm so glad that it just came to me. Wow.
 
 I'm just going to read it quickly. And I know there are some words I probably aren't going to pronounce properly, but I'm going to say it. So the Man in the Arena it's written by Theodore Roosevelt.
 
 It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer the doer of deeds could not have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood Who strives valiantly who said I wasn't gonna say him all correctly, who is and comes short again and again. Because there is no effort without error, and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end of the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls, who know neither victory nor defeat, you know, and it's like to see yourself as you are the man in the arena and anyone who is judging you. It's like you get up and do what I'm doing. But yeah, because they can't you know what I'm saying? So it's like, for me, I honestly I don't even and I used to be that person. I promise you that's why I never really amounted to anything. But I really now know that if anyone is judging me, it's so on them like it has nothing to do with me. Yeah, I actually feel sorry for them to be and do what you're doing like, what sad souls that need to actually put someone down like you spoke into the hate and I was actually mind blown. I don't know why I am because obviously following it's really like what kind of things people say like right to you, or they will just say like, oh, it looks like you've had too much cake or like that's just what I can remember.
 
 You need it you need a fucking you need a psychology of you need counseling, or you look like a fucking spastic your creams you may cringe but don't watch.
 
 Yeah, like, like, it's more stuff along the lines of like, because I'm so visually like we're at, you know, and people just go oh, and I just cringe at it. And people have just said that and they said that they do and I've seen so many comments that people
 
 Right
 
 Making videos or you're not even funny. Yeah, stuff like that. Just like Yeah, I know. Like you can, it's becomes like you've got to sort of be like a ninja where you just gotta like just you know, like, just let it bounce on you. Yeah. But, you know, something that I know is that sometimes what happens is it's like if that is part of your belief system, and like let's say you're like not liking that you're overweight, for example, and that's something that's like, you know, it's a belief that you've got that you're overweight, and then someone triggers you by you know, bringing that up, then it does hurt because, yeah, yeah, you know, you believe that, you know, but I've had people on mine because look, I have had some go viral. I thought it was viral. 50,000k But I had like, only had 800 followers back then. And I used to get so excited. I'm like, Oh my god. 20,000 people have watched my shit. So like how you must go insane when you see. Yeah, I mean that's fucking messy. You know it is but you go overseas and people would know you a lot. A lot of my T shirts. My goodbyes? I didn't get to speak about much. They mainly go to America. Yes. So that's another thing I didn't know. And if you don't know, please check out the link that she's got an oboe because Max also selling all these I'm gonna get one selling all these T shirts like you sell. You're selling merchandise. Yeah, he just good vibes only like it just it stems from that. And it stems from being able to support a local charity that I work with to pay who the money that I donate to them goes to them being able to pay people to go educate young people about mental health and how growing up with it. So it's like such a good cause I don't like it's like a you know, I don't sell them to make money. It's I sell them because I'm like, I can know. And like if I can get the the word out there as well and then donate money to. It's fantastic. Yeah, exactly. So you know, that's a great segue to talking to, you know, your mental health because like I said, that was like a real shock for me. I mean, it shouldn't be because so many people suffer from it, but I guess we all sort of have this perception when we see someone you know, killing it. They must be happy, be happy. I mean, I think I'd be happy if I was getting fucking millions of views, you know? So how did the fame and all of that still snot sit with you like so what is it that comes up for you? Because it wasn't the haters. I asked you earlier. It was actually something that you've been suffering with. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I've had OCD since before I could remember. It's not like a cleaning cleanliness, OCD. It's something that's really it's like a superstitious in your brain, and it's very controlling.
 
 Yeah, as long as like, you know, I can go between mania and depression really easily kind of like bipolar, but they haven't been able to diagnose the bipolar which is probably a good thing. But a lot of anxieties were like, I'll worry about the smallest things in general just like like it just up to the point where like, I'll be gagging in the shower in the morning. I'm anxious to go outside you know.
 
 It that's thing like when I was making reels and stuff, it was so good. And I was feeling really really great about it. And then I think the worst I was getting more I started dropping off from being so visual on Instagram, which was probably more this year.
 
 But because I was medicated for so many years, I want to get pregnant and my doctor sent me you need to come off my medication, which is for OCD, depression, anxiety, kind of all bowed to what is quite a heavy dose. Like oh, you're gonna have to you know, this is unsafe for us to try my style you can't be on this if you're going to have a baby I was like, oh shit, you know? And then my partner is really want to believe mine have a matter and he's like so different to me in that respect. He like really grounds in humbles makes me just keeps me really grounded.
 
 So anyway, he he worked out he started working away when I started coming off of medication. And because I weaned off it he wasn't here. I was dealing with this like on my own. I've also got my niece so I take care of because my oldest is days away. So I have her in my custody as well. So does my mom we could we share their custody so I was coming off medication. My partner just went away. Work was just crazy. I didn't know I went into a little bit of psychosis and a bit of mania as well when I was coming off my medication. Oh, yeah.
 
 Like it's, I couldn't even comprehend the day or the talk. I couldn't comprehend anything. I didn't expect this and I was I would cry at the drop of a hat. I was like, why am I putting myself through this and then I ended up after I only lasted a couple of months. And then I went back to as a client and then anyway, I was gonna go back to a psychiatrist and they told me it was a three month wait to see anyone three months to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist under a mental health care plan. Three months. I was like, I'm not going to be here three months. I'm fucking telling you right now. That's actually insane. It's scary. It's scary. So I ended up buying another doctor and then having to wait another few weeks to see another psychologist. Thank God that I did. She's a savior.
 
 Since then, I had I ended up getting in earlier with another psychiatrists they only had to wait eight or nine weeks. Anyway, we worked out a plan we got better on since we got some better medication that would save a pregnancy and then we discovered that it wasn't so to go back and change medication again which fucking her my world upside down and then went back to her again she's OH Actually no, this one is okay for pregnancy.
 
 It was just a joke. It was like a bucket is actual fucking joke. So I went from like being okay to like really not okay, so things are getting better. They're not like, Oh, they're getting better again. So it's like a real roller coaster of emotions. And again, my partner was still away at the time so I was on the phone to him crying every day and he's like, I don't know what I can do. I'm sorry. So it was just like this and I just everything kind of just triggers you like going on Social Triggers you I didn't even want to go online anymore. I want to work I didn't want to do How did you even keep functioning? I don't know your mental Well, I suppose I felt like I had I don't I'm a real empath. I can't let people down. I say yes to a lot of people as well. Please. I'm a people pleaser, but at the same time, I kind of am okay with a lot of that. I think it's a really good trait to have. Because I do genuinely care about my clients my work and I you know, I look back at work I did now that I was doing when I was a little bit a little bit in that mania stage. I was like, How the fuck did I do that? And I even look back now, how much better I am now that I'm like, I don't know how I coped. I really don't I don't know how I got through and even to this day, I'm still I get really anxious but again, I've changed I've gotten a really study medication now that's an SSRI, which you might know about. It's that keeps their tone in the brain a bit longer. Yeah, right. This is really safe for pregnancy. So if I do get pregnant, it'd be really safe, which is then got a lot of natural remedies as well. I could do a lot of meditation I read a lot I am with nature a lot. I breathe a lot.
 
 Like to be read animals and I'm open gratitude and humbleness. But when you're in that really fucked up mental state stay you just don't think anything but getting better and you fight and fight and fight your brain to write to the end. To get better.
 
 So it's been a really, really long journey for me and I'm still on that journey until I mean forever. I don't think we'll ever you know, but at the same time, the more I read and more I read about manifestation, the universe and how we can actually heal ourselves. I'm like, wow, the world's actually bigger place and we really think you know, and that can I just say, that's 100% Correct. And like I was speaking earlier about the work that I do, and I had seen psychologists and psychiatrists as well when I was younger, but you know, I don't call them holistic coaches, mentors, whatever. You know, this work really is about healing yourself, you know, because yeah, that thoughts can make us sick. Yes. Then our thoughts can make us better. Exactly. That is really important and like there's there's so many people I know in the Gold Coast as well that I'd love for you to see because they're turning people that have got they've had trauma. Yeah, yeah. That were like, near death experiences, you know, having not only an incredible life, but helping others now to change that, you know, yeah, yeah, exactly. I think a lot of it does come from that as well. I mean, I had a pretty good childhood. When I was younger, I mean, a lot of domestic violence with my parents and then my dad died when I was well, before that. I almost died when I married by accident as well when I was a kid as well. So I've got like a metal plate in my head. Oh, well, babe, you've actually gone through a lot. I know. But it isn't like to me I'm just like, oh, yeah, that's just fine. I just you almost die. You haven't dealt with it and I promise you not. Yeah. I tell you now, we go on living and it's there's one thing to like know that I went through all those things and like try to rationalize it in the brain. And then it's another thing when you actually go back and that little girl went through that yeah, and might take you having a little girl. And then one day, you'll just be in the shower, and you'll be with that little girl and you'll just be trying to wash her and go this little girl went through this much. Yeah, and I didn't actually realize you know, that's what happened to me. That's why I use that. Example. It's like, we don't have that compassion for ourselves. No. And what we do is we try to keep busy by pleasing everyone else around us. We really got to honor self would really, really good to go back to that little girl and save her and so that she doesn't feel scared in life. So she doesn't feel like you know what I'm saying? Because a lot of people don't understand that. It's, it's what did happen. Yeah, back there. And let me just tell you that he's really there's a lot there's a lot of trauma, the motorbike accident, the domestic violence, but sometimes it can even just be as simple as mum dropping into childcare. And you don't want to be in childcare or take. Yeah, that was me. Yeah. My mom took me off the booth. I was like telling the psychotherapist I had the perfect childhood. I had the perfect childhood. I kept saying it again and again. Perfect childhood, and she started with my mom's pregnancy. My dad was cheating. And my dad you know, the shop was going down and the takings was going down. And so my mom was pregnant and stress. So all the hormones, the cortisol and all the drain when it was coming from me, well as you can tell me, you don't even know. Right? And then I was born and so then what do you think happens when you're born? Same thing with you muscles stressed, and then if your mom can't, you know, breastfeed you and you've she's got to go to work and she's just fobbed you off to childcare at three, four months old. Hello as trauma.
 
 Because trauma isn't what happens to you. This is what Dr. Gabor Ma Tei says it's actually what happens inside. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes we're like I had a great childhood. It wasn't that bad, but you don't know what the little girl went through. And I really truly, it's all that stuff that is making you feel this way and stop. Because she's still a part of the subconscious. The inner child is still part of the subconscious mind. So it's really crazy. It's really deep work. And it's like connecting the mind body and the spirit, body and soul. So I just want to say first of all, thank you so much for sharing and being so fucking vulnerable because we need more humans like you. Yeah, I was going my eyes out crying so it was the girl next to me. I saw I looked around so many people were crying. Because it takes courage. You say you don't have the courage or you know, like maybe you're too fearful to get on stage and do comedy, but it actually takes courage to be vulnerable. Yeah, it really does. To open, open yourself up and I feel like yeah, at the same time, like I know scientifically or biologically speaking. When you do speak about yourself though it does release oxytocin 100%, which other people can connect with? So I've learned as I've gotten older you there's no way I would have told you any of this two years ago. There's no way saying yeah, because we don't have our dirty laundry. You know, we've got to always put on a mask you know, that's the shadow work always trying to pretend. Exactly. And that's that's what you kind of learn as well when you're kind of growing up. Yeah, like in school and stuff and like, you don't talk about that kind of shit. So shame your family. Yeah, yeah, exactly what I have kids are saying to my sister, and I have kids, we are going to be the most open communication household ever. Yeah, we're going to talk about everything. And I just know I want to do that because I just Yeah, I just think it would be better to have communication growing up with my future child. And you know, again, my my naturopath said, you know, especially don't have kids until you are better and I understand that.
 
 Because Can I children will trigger the fuck out of you. I mean, yeah, don't wait to get triggered. I am extremely triggered by my children. They're like the last piece to my puzzle. They're very for me, very triggering, because when you see that they're just these beautiful souls that just want to be free.
 
 And then when they're being loud, yeah, people are just playing. I get triggered because it triggers my childhood because when I was loud, my dad would scream and shut me down. And so my child doesn't feel safe. And so I'm like, Stop screaming. Sure. But we're just playing. Yeah, but like it fucks with my nervous system. Same with my niece as well. I get really short fuse with her and then I'm like, Oh my God, I feel terrible because I'm like, listen to me, like listen to me. I've told you to do something.
 
 Yeah, yep. Yep. I say sorry. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry for getting angry. I just sit and he's not feeling very well tonight. Yeah, lying to her because I'm like, I can't do this to her. Yeah.
 
 She means your parents say sorry to you when they stuffed up. That's the thing. Like are they sorry. So you're already you're already one step ahead. You're not doing it to her right. Yeah, yeah. It's our parents didn't say sorry. Our parents like you made me and you did it and then they put the blame on us. Exactly. You know, they do and my oldest sister said the same thing. She goes because my oldest sister is obviously the mom of my niece. And she's gonna be home at the end of the year think the Lord that I can give the child back. I love ever now. Accepting but yeah, I'll miss on this so much. But anyway, so yeah, I I understand that. I do what I do say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at us because I think it was you're an angel. Yeah. When I was a kid, my mom was very stressed. You know, my dad died, but we were quite young and she raised us on one wage and paying mortgage and she was constantly stressed. She was always angry always. But couldn't even like our friends and him want to come over because it was so intimidated by our mom. Now she's a different person. You wouldn't even think that was hair. But you know, we grew up with so many like five to 10 years of being at home of my mum being in a stressed state constantly. And we lived in that energy constantly as well. And my mom would think back at that now and be like, Oh my God, you know now now I know but back then she was just trying to make ends meet and I would have been so hard. So yeah, my oldest sister went rogue and she she left home at like 1415 after my dad died. My mom was constantly stressed about how we had the police with her. We had the child safety with her my mom because ash kept running off and that's the mother of my niece.
 
 Anyway, she Yeah, she's different. She's a different person now. And mom's a different person now. But I was I'm such an observer and I was young. I would observe my mom I observed my sister observe my little sister. And I still to this day, I observe my family as a whole and I'm always trying to fix everything. I like to be the fixer or the one that is the the the one that goes okay. You tell me and I'll talk and I'll be the that person and it gets me in trouble a lot of time because it gets in trouble Haig's the times. He recently has got me in trouble. So yeah, it's hard. It's a really tricky one. Yeah. Well, you know, it's good that your mom has changed and acknowledges all that too. You know, like, it's really big. And I know that you wouldn't hold any resentment towards her. She could do and, you know, like conscious parenting. I mean, of course, it was always around but it just wasn't spoken or you know, it wasn't like you'd scream at your kids in front of the other parents and other parents would be like, yeah, what's going on like that actually helped you. It wouldn't be like you'd be embarrassed to scream because everyone be judging you like now nowadays is different and I'm fucking glad that it's different because we need to wake up. We need to wake up and realize that we are ruining the children. We are ruining these generations and you know, of children that are just want to be children. Yeah. That you know, when I ask people, you know, my clients like what is it that you want to really want to do that put your job aside that makes them money? What is it that you love doing if you were to die six months from now, Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about like this, you know, like, do you want to die with the comedy still in new Do you want to die with you know, like, the music still in? You know, they want it they don't want to, but they're like, oh, I don't know what else to do? Well, because they didn't really get those choices when they were young. You know, like, maybe your mom told you you can't be a comedian. Stop being silly. Just you're just funny. You know, just leave it at that. Well, you can't see your waitress you'll be a waitress. So yeah, go get yourself an education and a degree in a job and then God knows what I'm actually going around with that but yeah, so I want to say thank you for sharing your mental health and stuff because it's very, very serious. And so many people are suffering after COVID as well, and it's just one after the other and they don't have to you know, there's there's so many more options and yeah, so the other thing I wanted to ask you is where
 
 the dog had a nice mouth. All right. I wanted to just ask the question, because I know that a lot of people find it hard and I was one of them is to mix your personality in with your business. Yes. And like you know, you've been silly and everything. How did you just go or I can't do that because then people won't, like how did it affect your business? Did it ramp it up? Or did you not get clients because they think that you're like, something's wrong with you. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, now she has to, ya know, there had to be a fine line. And at first I didn't have a line at all. I was like this we'll do I'll post that. And that's good. And it really, people wanted to work with me because they laugh. We're like, Oh my God, you look so real. You're like, you know, you're so authentic. And then I have a chat with them and we chat away. I become friends with all my clients and you know, just great. Yeah, yeah, it was great. I wanted that connection. With people I wanted that and people would loving that and then you know, as the more my account was going on people jobs and I found like it's just it worked so well and my favorite have to admit, and even even now it does work so well my family because people go oh my god, you know, I just really wanted to work with you so talented. And they go you know, you're so funny but you you both are actually really amazing. I didn't realize you're a photographer you know who will do that. Photographer. Oh my God, I didn't photos you know.
 
 Are you too mutated boy, you know, I don't I don't I don't. I'm not intimidating or anything. So when people do meet me in person, they like well, you're actually like, really cool like it. And I'm like, Yeah, cuz I'm just I'm pretty normal.
 
 Yeah, so I don't think I'm intimidated people. I would imagine they could be because you know, this person is in their face for so long. And then you meet them. Yeah, and it's
 
 now there's a lot of use a lot of traction.
 
 But it really has worked well my favor because people have worked with me because of my reels. And then they have then referred me on to someone else. And then everybody went to someone else and I've made some great connections and great friends. Like it's just, I'm so grateful for what I've been able to cut who I've been able to connect with, just for making friggin reals. And now it's different and I do I noticed that if I need to probably do more, but at the same time, I'm so happy with how my business is flowing that I'm like I don't even force that when I'm feeling it, but I've been feeling it this year as much as I was last year because of what everything that's been going on in my in my brain.
 
 I've been able to to to it's kind of like my anxiety has gotten worse of posting because I'm so I have like that impostor syndrome in my head on this, you know, and it's just like trying to cut that out and just doing it because you want to do it. So if you want to do reels that are funny on your page, like just do it because like at the end of the day, you may be happy with how your account is because of how you've done it for yourself. And that's what my my my idea of it was to so long was through that I'm gonna make funny rules. I'm gonna do some sick you know, boscovich work on I have a business out of I'm gonna keep it all together. And it just worked because I wanted it to work if it wasn't going to work because I had doubts I'd never had doubts. Yeah, wow. Allow my brain to go down the doubt road even with the reals. I tell other people. If you want to put businesses together with funniness and maybe more serious and stuff, you can do it. Like what's to stop you from doing from putting businesses together? I know photographers who are separate photography pages for different niches and if you put it together put it together because you want people to work for you. You are a brand your name maybe reach out to brands whose creations is a brand. Yeah, we the brand and the person, you know, and that's the thing is selling is always a person that people want to work with that because they can see that authenticity. And I'm a real human, and he'll go oh my god, you're from the neuron and the Gold Coast and I'm like, yeah.
 
 I know. I thought you were overseas too. And I was like Gold Coast. Gold Coast.
 
 When I go to the Gold Coast. Yeah.
 
 Yeah, people find me.
 
 I've gone to Belize and people like this shop. I went into this clothes shop into random vulnerabilities and rails. It's called Love Linda. I want to now like want you to dress to finally come into my store. And I was like
 
 Oh, you're too busy making an empire. Online to visit my store. I was like, Oh, let me increase creations. Yeah. And she's like, Yeah, you gotta be willing to work with you and you alone. You only be on the road. Oh, wow. I was like, I'll just come to my address, but hey, going, let's work together. So it's just like it's just it's just really cool. Hey, it is really cool. And I want to say we've run out of time now. I want people to listen to this. And I want to just say thank you so much for everything. The time just flew. It's 10 o'clock, where I know it really do just fly and I want to say thank you so much. And I know for a fact and I'll drop into you that this is going to help so many people hope so. Yeah, it definitely will because we'll need to hear more of this year. You will my takeaways from it but anyone who would like to take away from someone who's physically experienced if so long, you must get the right help. Whether it be medication, it's not going to be a medication it helps me if it helps me it's gonna help somebody else. But also mindfulness like breathing, connecting.
 
 Reading being with nature, getting enough vitamin D, eating enough protein, like there's so many things so many books and such information out there. That's not available, like online, like you need to like really, really read evidence and facts and and like really, you know, because I'm learning I have a different person towards a who I was two months ago because of reading because then you have the awareness right learning exactly. I want to be able to people to know that you can get better it's just it's all that you needed work your mind is your it's very powerful. What is your matter your mind is your your life. We can work with me as well, as you all know, of course, yes.
 
 You don't people do that. That's yeah, I really do. I really do and, oh powerful. It's really powerful and it's changing people's lives. So I bet it is I had I know it would