Hi everyone, in today's episode, I want to share a personal story with you.
I want to talk about my experience with ex-planting, and the roller-coaster of emotions that came along with it.
This is a topic that I'm really passionate about and I've been through it myself, so I feel like I have a unique perspective to offer.
I believe that there's a lot to be learned from our own experiences, and I'm hoping that by sharing my journey, I can help others who may be going through something similar.
So join me today as I delve into my ex-planting journey and talk about the ups and downs, the lessons I learned, and what I hope to achieve through sharing my story.
Hope you enjoy!
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Hello beautiful soul. I'm Sarah Michaels and welcome to the Elated You podcast, where we dive deep into the world of self discovery growth and healing to find out who you truly are.
I really want to speak in today about my ex plant. Something I haven't really spoken too much about on my Instagram but I really want to speak into it today because it really wasn't a bit of a shock for me after I did it. So I knew that obviously removing my implants and my body image and stuff would, would bring up a lot of stuff, but I thought that I kind of dealt with it before I went in. But of course, I hadn't had the explant surgery yet so it couldn't have right but I didn't really think too much about it. I came out of the hospital and had a really beautiful week of incredible recovery, which was great. I can't say I had all these symptoms that came out straightaway because you're under anaesthetic and the anesthetic takes a long time to wear off but one thing I do know is I was able to take a really deep, full breath all the way through my back, which I haven't been able to do because I've had something pulling for many, many years and it was only recently that I made the connection that it was my implant because it was the back of my ribcage. And a lot of professionals would be like, I don't know it could be but I don't know it could be but I'm like how many how like many times can I get this worked on and it still be so tight and feel like I can't take a full deep breath in and that was something I noticed straightaway. When I was off the recovery tables like oh my goodness, wow. And just being able to do that enough. That's enough for me, but yeah, I'm sure that I'm only like two weeks post surgery. I'm sure I'm gonna find so many more things. But what I really wanted to speak into was the emotions that come after having explanting because for me, generally when I'm going to surgery, it would be for enhancement as opposed to the opposite. So you know getting something done and you know, not doing it because of cosmetic reasons and aesthetic reasons, but for health reasons and a conscious you know, it was a conscious decision. was really, really difficult. So seven days in, I thought I liked my boobs but they were still swollen. And then when I went to see the doctor and he told me that they will be going down a bit more. I saw myself like my chest skin tight and I just saw myself trying to hold back my tears especially when he gave me this crappy little crop up bra that usually I'd be plunging out of and I couldn't even like see my boobs in it. I was like, wows , I like look, they were perky. They're perky and they're smaller, and look, they look beautiful, but when you've gone from something so big, and it's a massive, massive, massive change, and it doesn't matter how much you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally and you do the work. Nothing can prepare you for it until you you're there and you see it in that moment. And for me it was when I saw it.
After seven days it was like oh my goodness, my boobs aren't coming back. And I really got really scared because I was like shit. I don't know how long I'm going to feel like this. Like, it was so bad that I reached out to somebody, a really beautiful sister. And you know, she said at the end of everything that you know, you can always get him back in if you really wanted to, but that's not what I wanted. I wanted to be able to accept my body the way that it is. And I'm getting emotional because what it brought up for me was everything that I had already this time meet before I had children. So I was already really insecure about my boobs prior to getting the implants in and I totally forgot how insecure actually was until I saw them again and all of those feelings and emotions came up and it was like oh my god. Like what if now I see a girl with cleavage and I get insecure again. Like what do you even know what if and what if and it was like this massive like fully massive moment for me where I just didn't know how long this was going to go for. You know, like, this is going to be like a two day thing. Is this going to end up being you know, forever? I don't know. I don't know. How long I'm going to end up like this. And my girlfriend picked me up and you know the first thing she said was I knew that you were going to go through this and I guess that's not what I wanted to hear because I didn't know I was gonna go through that. You know if I'm honest, especially after being seven days going through it, and then you're dealing with it. But I'm really, really happy that I sat in that mess for a good two whole days where I could not stop crying and I record my husband was freaking out because I was like I have to get a fat transfer. I have to do something. He's like, no, they look good. They look really good. And it's like it really didn't matter what he says. Because at the end of the day, it's how you feel so what I did was I really really had to sit and do the work all over again like about you know that little girl and telling her that she's still beautiful with or without boobs like that's not making she's not gonna lose her sex appeal. She's not gonna lose her beauty. She's not only to have beautiful heart and any of those things because she's gone down a few sizes like she I mean how how like deep does it conditioning go that big boobs make you into a woman. I felt like I wasn't feminine enough. That's how I felt. And I was like, I need to nip this in the bud because I've got a little girl and she's six and I thought to myself I would not speak to my daughter like that. Like if she had this operation and she came to me and said I don't feel feminine. I don't feel this. I feel that and I feel insecure. I knew exactly how would speak to her in that moment. But when it came to speaking to me and speaking to my inner child, I was really struggling in that moment. I really really was struggling. So I had to picture myself as I was talking to myself as I was a mother talking to her daughter. And it was biggest game changer. biggest biggest game changer if you were ever in a situation where you need to talk to yourself. Talk to yourself like you are the parent and this is your child. And you're not going to shame her. Because like I started writing the letter to myself and I was like to my little child and I was like you know your boobs are beautiful you're gonna do okay you just need to lose weight like I just kept on you know there was like Oh, but but but you know what I'm saying like there were all these like little moments where I just still kept shaming her and I thought why Hold on Why am I doing that still like this is insane. I'm still going there like No, and that's why I had to pivot and go no, I'm writing this to my daughter. And everything changed and I started actually crying because I thought well, I have more compassion for her than I do myself. So to anyone out there that is considering expanding. This is the one thing I didn't know about because I try not to go into too many forums for was that sometimes it can take a week or two for it to actually kick in. It's not like you come out of surgery because you're still on a high and for me I had just done my first stand up a week prior to that. So I was on a really big high and then I'd come for an operation and then I'd seen my boobs so and I've gone down a real low. But you know coming up from that, I realized that I'm here. I've got a purpose. I want to help and serve people. I also want to do my comedy as well. And whether I have fucking big boobs or not, is not going to make a difference is it really it's crazy how much we've been conditioned to look at the physical and I've decided that I want to change my body and I want my body to now be more of that athletic body, not the body that I was trying to get back. That a different body for me for now. And that's important is that we don't try to always go back to what we had, because we change as mums we change and now that I am smaller, you know, and I've also had a tummy tuck so my stomach is quite flat. I never had you know, flat stomach. Even when I was younger, I always had a little bit at the bottom that was still tight, but it was always this curve. So for me, it's like you know what, why don't I embrace this body that I've been given right now and work on what I've got and work with what I've got as opposed to trying to get back what I had, because if we just focus on the now and not try to live in the past, and for a long time I've kept a lot of my because I've wanted to go back to the body that I had and it's like no, even if you did like, even if I did lose weight as if it were those clones but I've got so many clones that are vacuum sealed so that you know in bags so that I could wear when I lose the weight and those clothes are probably not even close that I would wear because they're not even close it that I my style now or in fashion or whatever. And I know that's a big thing for a lot of people's like letting go of that old version of you and I reckon I didn't realize I was still holding on to her, you know until I actually let go of those implants so I feel a lot lighter. I do feel than the no guy just don't feel as heavy. Not just in my body but on a conscious level. I feel knowing that I've removed them that's also removed. Yeah, a lot of stuff that I was still holding on to so yeah, reach out if you want to know that a bit more. But I think that you're going to feel so much better if you do it. I did but just make sure make sure you speak to your doctor and you get all the advice that you can seek a few different opinions and maybe let me know.
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