Episode 31 - Running with the Rat-Pack

Welcome to a powerful and transformative episode of our podcast, where we have the privilege of sitting down with the remarkable Lukey Smith. 

Prepare to be inspired as Lukey shares his incredible journey of personal transformation and his mission to empower men through his "Better Man Project."

In this episode, we delve deep into Lukey's past, where he candidly opens up about his tumultuous life marked by involvement in crime and a battle with addiction. But what sets Lukey apart is his unwavering determination to change his path and find healing, not just for himself, but for his relationships as well.

Lukey's story is one of redemption and growth. He unveils the pivotal moments and transformative experiences that propelled him to embark on a profound personal journey of self-discovery. Through dedicated self-reflection, therapy, and a commitment to personal development, Lukey not only healed the wounds of his past but also forged strong and meaningful connections with his loved ones.

But Lukey's story doesn't end there. Driven by his own transformational experience, he has devoted his life to helping other men navigate their own journeys of self-improvement. The "Better Man Project" that he initiated has become a beacon of hope for countless individuals seeking positive change in their lives.

This is an episode not to be missed.

Enjoy :)

Transcript

Good morning looky I want to introduce you guys to a gentleman that I only met I think it was last week or two weeks ago. I think it was only last week. We met because he was purchasing our breathwork course and within a 10 minute call, we got so open and vulnerable. I was like, I have to have you on my podcast. So I just wanna say welcome Lukey Smith.
Morning Sara, thank you for having me. I appreciate it. And it was it was an instant connection. It was it was really nice to connect with you last week. So appreciate it really, really was and I just want to share because I'm always talking about being open and vulnerable. And usually, men aren't as open and vulnerable with me, you know, if they don't know me, and I just love that. We were able to connect so quickly and how he does did that I wanted to share with I was asking you how you got into breathwork and then you were telling me that you know, you are a juvenile criminal. And you know, a lot of people might hear that and go, Oh my goodness, I don't want to talk to this person anymore. Like that sounds crazy or whatever. But for me it was like oh my goodness, tell me about your childhood. Like Tell me more. Because I know that if you were that person and you know, so people say you can't change well, that's rubbish. If you're willing to change that I know that you would have gone through something to end up you know where you were, and I want to hear about it because I can see I can see now that you're on a healing journey. So I wonder if you could tell us a little bit more we want to talk about is a little bit about your childhood and what that was like growing up, you know, and also what was the turning point and how you, you know, healed and how what did you do? So let's start with tell us a bit about you.
Yeah, so lucky Smith. I live in Wheeling Gaul on the south coast. I'm a builder by trade and I have started a project for men called the better man project which which kicked off in 2019. Which Yeah, hence why I'm doing the breathwork facilitators course so I can run the guys through through breath work and and their healing journey. So
helping men I forgot to mention that. Sorry. I know the programs.
Yeah, we can we can talk about that. All right. So I've been helping men since 2019. And over the last couple of years put together like a drink less alcohol program because alcohol was a was a big trigger for me in the past and goal setting workshop, so just getting guys aligned with their goals and their vision and just break it down into steps. So they've got a best next step to move towards their goals and their outcomes. So I was I was an absolute scallywag growing up and reflecting on it now it was all the environment. That was the and I was being I was being that character in that environment. And it wasn't until I was 17 that I really stuck my head up and I went well I'm not living aligned with my values. I'm afraid. I'm reactive. I can't sleep because I'm on my arm on edge and like it was a horrible, horrible couple of years there just mixing with the wrong crowds. And my parents were oblivious to the depths of the activities. That I was getting up to. But somehow along the line, they were condoning it because it was a party culture where we grew up. And I love my parents dearly. But my father, my father really, really drinks and I opened up with you on like a couple of one particular incident where my father crashed our family's car and woke me up like got me out of bed to go down and help me retrieve the car. And when the police arrived, he said to me, tell him you were driving and it wasn't until the police arrived. And I said look, I was driving and the copper knew me on a first name basis and he pulled me aside and said looky, we're driving the car and I said look, I wasn't you know, I just, I How old were you honey? How old?
I was 17-18 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was I was a kid. No, no, I wasn't even I wasn't even 18 I think I was 16 then yeah, I was a young young adult right fighting for the fit my place in in the pack and a cop and a cop knew it, wasn't you. Can you Yeah, the cops are the there was a couple of witnesses and the police. They identified my father and I ended up doing said it was my dad. As my dad's getting arrested. He's turned around, calling me a dog and calling me names and just honestly, it's really emotional to talk about because it just brings up this like, self worth issue. And that's what I was grappling with for years. Was self worth. Yeah, like, not loving myself not accepting who I am not accepting my values and my beliefs and who I want to be in this world. I was fitting a mold of impressing guys and doing stupid shit and yeah, like right just running with a rat pack. And it wasn't also Yeah, when you're when your parents that you love so dealing and no matter what they do, you will be idolized them right. When our parents put us down. We don't stop loving them. We stopped loving ourselves and so when you talk about that self worth piece, I just wanted to hug you so bad and I don't even know you because I know exactly what you're talking about. And it I just wish more parents were more aware that that is the impact that they can have on their children just by saying you're a dickhead you're stupid. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he called me a FNC and like, repeatedly, and go on. You're a dog. You're a dog and you fucking hero. And like, even now when those because you didn't lie and take the rap for him?
Yeah, correct. Correct. Yeah. And it was from that moment on that I went live like this, like, Oh, I do not want to I don't want to put myself in this situation like guilt, shame, fear. These are all horrible feelings to feel and frequency. They're the lowest frequency motion Yeah, they are right they are and I just felt backed into a corner and I was I was reactive. I was doing things that aren't aligned to me like I'm not violent. I'm not aggressive but I was acting out those those character traits and do you know what I do now? Free I feel now Do you have good I feel to stand up in front of men now and share my story and tell them that I've completely changed like, the air. Yeah.
And they like that and then have that impact on them so that they know that you can change. Right? You become the person that hold space for other people to change. And it's it's all about your environment, right like you know, up here up here today like just just done a trail run, met new people. You know, we're all helping one another lady fell down on the trail scoop her up and you know, like to me to carry you out of here and he's joking like I do and like that, that is what I live for. I live for the connection I live to be to be open, honest, vulnerable, and he'll like it's daily work. I still get triggered. There's still things that upset me, but I don't let my past dictate my future. That was that was a chapter in my life. And I don't resonate. With that guy anymore.
 So, can I ask you so at 17 That's pretty young and most of the time unaware. I mean, most kids at that age would then become you know, like, go and start drinking more or turn to drugs and stuff like that. But how is it that you that was your turning point 17
That was my turning point with the criminal activity. I still don't believe I drunk and drugged for the next 20 years. 20 years what Yeah, and that was I was self loathing it was her it was shame, guilt. It was and when I fall when I'd fall apart after a drug vendor or an alcohol fueled rampage, I honestly was just sweeping up broken glass all the time. I was smashed into a million pieces, and now I would never let myself go back there. Never do. I would never get myself in that situation where I would react. I love to respond. I love to create a nice environment that my wife knows when I'll be home because her and I have been through challenges as well. She's been with me for 15 years and she were pregnant. She's She's and and she turned around and said to me like I wouldn't have had children with you. Yet part the past character so it's just like my environment is echoing that I have changed and the world is ready for this version of looky snare. So, so sorry, ready for it. Your energy is so infectious. It really is. Can I ask you? What's uh, what steps did you take in order to make that change? Because so many people that, you know, we know in our life that we would love for them to you know, make that change. I know that you said you're able to do that for your own family as well. But what was it because a lot of people are scared to get into this work? A lot of people like don't want to go there. What was the first thing that you can remember that you actually did? Maybe it wasn't one thing, but you know, there was many, many little things but the first thing that I did that started to heal was I surrendered. I surrendered to a new experience, okay, and always open to other concepts and other other other beliefs. Because once you've got a belief about yourself, like I'm a smoker, I'm a drinker. You're declaring that you are so I started to work on this like Dr. Joe Dispenza. I started to read changing the habit of being yourself. And like I didn't read I didn't know I didn't innovate before. I didn't read before. I didn't value my knowledge or so lucky. Smith University. Now I read 10 pages of book a night. I jump on Zoom calls like I make cool people like you I put myself through courses. Oh, yeah. I love it. And what about breath work? breath work, the healing right. So I've only just dip my toes into this right so I've been doing Wim Hof the for years since 2019. And I'm noticing the profound effect that that's having on my life and my ability to do things so I do ice baths with the boys. I can oxygenate my body. I can have this awesome spiritual awakening type thing, you know, just try it. Yeah, and then and then we plunge into the ice and the guys that are so relaxed after it, and a lot of them drink and stuff. And I say you pay big money to feel like that, don't you? And they're like, Wow, getting by on your own supply. That's what I always say.
Exactly. A DMT. Yeah, yeah. So did you have a release? Did you cry? Remember I told you my husband just bought his eyes out? never cried before in his life and sports eyes out? Yes. Yeah. Yep, cried honestly. And just like, I feel I'm my best mate now. So I feel so connected to me like my I'm the host of this body. So I want to I want to nourish it. I want to make sure there's rested as well hydrated. I never thought like that before and now my buddy let's look after this singlet and I push it like doing trail runs. I push it to its limit, but I'm respectful of it. I love it. You know, I I cherish what is all of this done? For your relationships around you like your your wife, your family?
Nominal changes like the depth of connection that I have with my wife now. Is is unbelievable. Level isn't it? It's it's another level like intuitively we know what each other's thinking obviously her hormones peaking with with the pregnancy and that but honestly, she when she you know after we have a little moment she'll say, thank you. You've got me like yeah, she had made before. I love myself. Yeah. So before long before Luke He loved himself. Jamie loves me. Yeah, hold space for me.
What about Yeah, and what about the relationship with your dad now because I don't ever want to shame our parents because our parents did the best they could do and obviously he would have his own stuff going on. Right. So tell me about that.
Yeah, it's beautiful. So I had a really good heart to heart with him. And I, I acknowledged that he was bringing me up with the knowledge that he had at that point in time. So I you know, and the wounds and the wounds that he had big time so what what my father opened up to me about was that he hated his father. So they didn't have a good relationship. And he wanted he wanted me and him to be best mates which we are really good mates now and we went on a on a whole new level. Our mate ship before was drinking and doing drugs and lower vibration stuff. Now it's going for drives out the countryside. Now it's talking about our nieces and nephews. It's talking about how his vision for bringing up his family he didn't want to go overseas. He wanted to have a family young and just grow up a year and you know, I credit my my building knowledge to my father because he got me into the trade it on me like he's done. He's done so much for me that I've ever craved for for so it's just the seesaw, you know, like, the thing is, you were the you were the chosen one to actually work on yourself and heal yourself so that you could then heal, you know, not only like past generations, but now you've got a bet to say you've got a son coming. Do you know what you're having? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Because you said babe, I don't know. I was like, you're totally Yeah. The universe is definitely giving you a boy. Because that's like part of it. You know, like, I just felt that. And yeah, I really, really believe that. He sees only the beginning. I know I said this too. When I spoke to you. I really know and Phil and you said to me that you saw someone that told you the same thing that you were going to be holding space for a lot more people than just a zoom call. you know, and like a few amount of people at the beach. this is going to be big because you're so authentic. you're so in the work and so many people have the knowledge. I speak to so many people that have this knowledge. they're like, yeah, I waited off Joe Dispenza or I've read these books. I've read those books and they've been repeating this work they reckoned for years and decades. However, the real work is actually in it like with your family, with you know the people that are triggering you with the ones that you love. That's when you're putting. nothing's like doing the things that push you like a 22k run like Hello? Yeah. Do you know Do you know what I was tapping into till I was like just going like yeah the elders like that damages how many people have been like this? Give me the strength to get through this. This Yeah. Yeah beautiful. They will beat you and they will with you. 100% 100% Yeah. And so
I got you after a run but your adrenaline is just run pumping. I am telling you go but before I do, I really wanted to say to you, and obviously we're gonna be talking more because we're doing our birth work course. But I wanted to say I want to ask you actually what's something that you would say what's what's one thing that you would say to people that haven't had the best childhood, but not in this work and continue to say, but I turned out fine. 
Honestly get to know yourself is the first thing that I would say to anyone. You just just really truly get to know yourself. You hear people talk and you can tell where they're at. Because they're just opening up and they're there. That's where they're at. Yeah, I'm tired on this on. Yeah, that's a feeling and you're buying into it. You're affirming that that's where you are. I mean, pain. I hear that so much. Yeah. Beautiful.
Baby steps, you know, just Baby Steps Find. Find a mentor or a coach or someone that you can aspire to be like, and many, many have walked the path before us. So we don't have to reinvent the wheel we just have to find find our way.
And so to all the men that are listening, if you know Lukey resonates with you. He's not in Melbourne, however he does do online. So you know, you've got these beautiful zoom groups for men. And I think that's just perfect. And you do have to find someone that energetically you align with, you know, correct, correct. That's right. That's right. And I'd like to just double take on what you said a lot of people have all this knowledge, but they don't have the wisdom to hire. So just just just the best next step. That's all you need to focus on. What is the next step for me? You don't have to go outside of that. Exactly. I love it and thank you so it's tricky Smith as the better man project in woollen gone. I'll I'll send you our Instagram handle, or you've got that I've already got it.I put on there as well. The better man project. Yeah, I'll actually tag you when I upload this. It's been so beautiful. I'll see you in the workshop and I can't wait to meet you. In your beautiful wife when you come to Melbourne.
Look forward to thank economy. We've got when you come to Melbourne.
Look forward to it. Thank you