So on today's episode, I really, really wanted to talk about the work and you know, who is this work really for?
And I, you know, I get asked that question a lot or people will think or say to me often that, you know, someone with trauma, they've got a friend that's got a lot of trauma that they should send to me or they want to send sibling or a parent or a friend.
But they haven't done, they haven't done any of this work yet or they haven't come and tried breath work.
And it's really funny because I'll often just let it go.
But I really want to say it here today that everybody needs this work before you think about sending someone to go and get help.
The best thing you can do is get help yourself, right?
I know that in Australia, I feel like there are still so many people, so many ignorant and backward people in their mentality around and stigma around therapy.
And it's so sad because honestly everybody needs this, everybody needs whatever you want to call it, therapy treatment, breath work healing.
It doesn't really matter what you label it, everybody needs this work.
This isn't for one particular type of person. This isn't for someone that's gone through something really tragic.
Yes, it is. And yes, I think that, you know, more people, um, you know, need to have the awareness around why we do it.
But why don't you just be open and just go, go for it, like, just go and see someone and see what comes out because yes, it can help people with trauma.
But what's trauma like often people like, I don't have any trauma and everybody's got trauma.
Every single human being has trauma. You know, trauma comes in all different shapes and sizes.
I mean, there are different names for trauma, there's acute trauma, you know, there's chronic trauma, there's complex trauma and I think that everybody thinks that a complex trauma which is a really invasive trauma, like something someone has been in the army, for example, that ends up having ptsd.
That is the trauma that people associate with the word.
But the thing is trauma can be the smallest little thing.
Um because like Doctor Gabor Mate says, I always quote this, that trauma isn't what happens uh to you.
So it's not the incident, it's actually what happened inside you.
The moment of whatever the incident might have been, ▪ you can even get trauma just from hearing someone's story.
I know I have been suffering a little bit of that and some of the stories that I hear are extremely challenging for me to process that.
I end up having to see my psychotherapist again and question whether or not I am fit enough to do this work because I'm an empath.
And when you're an empath and you hear stories that are so horrendous um at the same time, extraordinary because these people, if they continue to this work, they'll be able to impact so many others.
So let's talk about trauma and why does this therapy help?
So you might come in knowing that you've had something really significant or something really big, like a really big incident happen to you and release it in that moment.
Why? Because what we do as human beings is we suppress a lot of stories, things, incidents, traumas that have happened to us, we just push it all down, push it, push it, push it, push it really far down and then we don't think about it anymore or if you were a child and something happened, you may have repressed, which is different to suppressing because you've done it in that moment and you've forgotten about it and you've dissociated because it was so bad and it could be as simple as your parents arguing or fighting or a mother or a father, even a sibling just yelling out and saying to you, you're a fucking dick head or something like that and something happened to you in your body in that moment.
That is, that is the trauma. That is it right there. But you don't realize it.
And how it may be showing up in your life is you have no self worth. You're extremely insecure.
You don't show your face. You don't like to speak in public. These are things that people say to me.
Oh, that's just my personality trait. Like that's just the way I am.
You know, like I've just never had that confidence. Well, you're not born that way.
Something's happened to you that's made you suppress that.
And this is what people need to understand is that you can be the most confident human being and get up on stage.
You don't need to limit yourself with the belief that no, but that's not me.
Like I've never been able to do it. So that means I, I, I can't, here's the thing.
Not only are you limiting yourself if you're a parent and you're speaking like that, your child has no hope because you've shown them by your actions, by embodying the fact that you can't do it.
So then you're teaching them that they probably can't do it either.
And then your belief in them would be pretty small, right?
Whereas because my husband and I have really delved very, very deep into this work and still do on a daily basis.
I have to say ▪ when my son came to me and said I wanna be an NBA star, it wasn't like, OK, cool.
No worries. Everybody wants to be an NBA star. Go back and play basketball outside, right? And stop dreaming.
I'm not that parent. Neither is my husband. We said, is that really what you want to do?
Can you imagine? Can you imagine like a child saying to his parents?
I want to be an, imagine you saying that to your parents, I want to be an NBA star and you be and your parents actually acknowledging and validating thing about it and not making it unrealistic telling him they only pick 80 from the country once a year.
Yeah. So that means what does that mean? It means I've gotta train hard. That's right.
It's a little bit more than train hard. It's gonna be more than you need more than talent.
You need more than training hard.
You're gonna have to have the discipline to, to do this every single day and the resilience when things don't go right.
You know, and you feel tired and you get pain and you feel like your lack of, you gotta keep doing it no matter what and you never give up.
So he listens to forgotten some of the names, but he listens to some of the top like top basketball players.
Like he listens to a lot of Kobe Bryant's asks um podcast, but he listens to some other guys that aren't basketball players but are really into discipline.
You know, that will sit there and do a stretching pose, forgot his name.
Stretching, pose for like 45 minutes to an hour.
Like a stretch stretch in a one position just for the discipline. ▪ It's all mind control, right?
It's all mindset. ▪ And so we thought, how can we, how can we support him in this?
So, because we've done so much work without digressing, I wanna show you, we believe in ourselves.
We understand that we can do the thing. Like my husband couldn't go on stage.
He was like, no, I'm not good at public speaking. He overcome that.
When did live uh you know, a comedy.
When did a stand up like, yes, it was just a couple of minutes. But that's not the point.
The point is he put himself out there.
He stepped into that discomfort ▪ and he did it so that he could tell himself that he did it.
So if you can do it, then you're able to see the limitless potential in your Children, right?
But if you don't, then you're gonna bring them down just the same way your parents did.
And then that's where we continue that generational trauma as opposed to breaking it then and then my husband and I are breaking that general generational trauma, not just for me, not just for our Children, but for my nephews and nieces and whoever else is to come and their nephews and nieces because they'll one day go.
Well, I'll leave my legacy. Well, my auntie did this and that you know, when I tell my nephew, my kids are over it.
Now, this is the norm for them to see that I can go do stand up that I can sit here and do a podcast that I do lives that I do youtube videos.
I just gotta keep on showing them more.
Like I want to go and see now and show them how I'll sing on stage.
This has become the norm and now my daughter wants to do youtube and she's six, right?
So that's the norm for them. Whereas my nephew would see me and goes. Are you doing this?
You're a comedian like he gets a shock because who else has done that in his eyes? Right?
So for us, it's important that we do this work so we can shed all of those layers, old layers of self to become the new self and still still doing it.
Like I am excited for the new versions of me to come because not just one, it's just continuous.
So you can't just come and do a session and not come back again.
I mean, if that's where you want to stay content where you are, no problem.
But please know that there's so much more of you that can come out and this is to coaches as well.
I see a lot of coaches in the same place and it's like, but you can keep on going.
You can do more. You don't need to stay where you are.
And it's not just about the beliefs, it's about making more money.
It's like there's so many areas of your life that you can excel in or your body or, you know, whatever it is for you that you want to become, you get to choose out of the limitless versions out there.
That why would you limit yourself to being?
Oh, no, I'll just have this house and I'll just have that because of all the programming.
And that's why it's so important that when you can get rid of all that and get into this, you know, this new world, it's like you're in a new dimension, you start to realize everything is so different.
So back to my son, is that yes. So how can we support him and his belief?
And he's had this belief for the last year and I check in with him all the time to make sure he's not fading.
You know, he's not being influenced by anyone else because, you know, a few times kids at school said to him, he's a really shit basketball player and it's like ▪ you've gotta now shut out the noise.
You know, we'll get him to watch Michael Jordan like a movie or documentary.
But the main thing is that he understands that he's got to put in the hard work.
We have now committed to giving him five days of training, which means we have to drive all the way to dandy dong.
And we said this is, we can't do anymore.
I know that when you're older you can't ever say I could have been this and I could have been that.
But my parents, I don't want to hear that because that was the excuse that I had.
That's the excuse that my husband had.
He could have been a professional tennis player if his parents could play for his tennis lessons, I don't want to be the blame.
I want him to take full responsibility and we're teaching him that from now.
We're like, you have the choice to work on your mindset every single day.
Now, if you can get your kids to do that, what kind of adults do you reckon?
They're gonna end up being ones with no confidence or ones that believe in themselves.
You can't do that until you believe in yourself. Thanks for listening.
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Bye.