Episode 33 - Stop Emasculating Your Man

Today, I want to share something that has profoundly impacted my own relationship and has the potential to transform yours too.

Do you find yourself focusing on your partner's strengths or weaknesses? 

It's a crucial question that can shape the course of your relationship. 

I invite you to join me as I candidly discuss my own journey of shifting perspective and how it has completely changed the dynamics of my partnership.

I used to be guilty of fixating on my partner's weaknesses, always highlighting what he wasn't doing or the ways he fell short. 

But then it hit me: What if these differences, these contrasting approaches, could actually be the driving force behind an extraordinary relationship?

I want to invite you to embrace a new mindset—one that celebrates your partner's strengths. 

When you recognise and appreciate their unique abilities, something magical happens. You become a harmonious team that complements and supports each other. 

Trust me, it's all about finding that perfect balance, where your yin meets their yang.

So, let's embark on this journey of transformation together. 

Subscribe to the podcast and get ready to shift your perspective, create a loving, supportive, and empowering connection with your significant other. 

Remember, it all begins with appreciating each other's strengths. 

Together, we can make your relationship truly extraordinary.

Transcript

 Hello, beautiful soul. I'm Sarah Michaels, and welcome to the elated you podcast where we dive deep into the world of self-discovery, growth, and healing. To find out who you truly are.

Good morning. I literally just woke up and I really just felt called to. To share this after having a really beautiful N with my family and with my husband. And what I really wanted to share was, do you focus on your partner's strengths or do you focus on your partner's weaknesses? And I ask that question because sometimes that is the actual shift that can change your relationship.

I was always focusing on my partner's weaknesses, like all the things that he wasn't doing. Feel like what we want them to do is what we do, but what if them being the opposite or doing things differently becomes a catalyst for you guys having an incredible relationship, becoming the power couple, becoming the dream team because you compliment each other because you are yin and yang, and that once you recognize that, Then you are in flow because is what tends to happen is we, we start to focus on their weaknesses and then we let them know that, and then we start getting resentful because of their weaknesses.

And then we start to emasculate the man. And I think that a lot of us do that. I'm guilty of doing it. And when we emasculate the man, what tends to happen is they start to shrink and they don't wanna be there for us. And you are so out of alignment when this happens. And it just ends you in either divorce or resentment towards with each other and or bitching you know, about each other or you bitching about him.

And it, it's just not good for anyone that What if you actually went, okay, I cook, he cleans, he's not good at public speaking, but I am, and he's actually good at the background stuff. So actually recognizing their strengths and focusing on their strengths instead of their weaknesses. I think he's a really, really big game changer and something I really invite you to try because even just writing it down and just being more aware of it and sitting with what comes up for you when you know you do see them doing things differently to you that you don't like.

Like I've hear, I've heard of women going, I don't let my husband do the dishes because he doesn't eat the dishes the way I do the dishes. Why does he have to do the dishes the way you do the dishes? You know, like he's still doing the dishes, but if he doesn't do it the way you do it, What's the big deal?

Like, I, I have to say, my husband was also focusing on a lot of my weaknesses. Like I'm, I'm not as tidy and as neat as he's, so why doesn't he do the things that I can't do? And I focus on things that I can do. That way we, we can actually thrive together as opposed to picking on your partner. The moment you realize that you actually are a team and you are not separate, I mean that really does go for us all as a collective, but you can't help everyone.

So I think that if you can really concentrate and hone in on that in your relationship, that you are a team, you are together, you are not competing against each other. When I say competing apples, do that without realizing. It's not like a competition who can get me first, but it's, I did that. And how much do you do?

Well, I cleaned yesterday. Well, I work really hard, or I apples do that and they don't realize that that is actually competing against each other. Siblings can do it too. So I, I really wanted to drop that in because for me, I think that people say, how do you work together? How do you go to the gym together?

How do you spend so much time together, like in lockdown? Some couples didn't do well together and some couples actually thrived together, and you need to ask the question, why would some couples be thriving in a space where others got destroyed or the relationships got destroyed? You. It all comes down to perspective and you know how you are looking at situations, so focusing on their strengths.

Center their weaknesses. And I think in the beginning it can be really hard to go, I don't really know what their strengths are because you've actually been focusing on their witnesses for such a long period of time that you have forgotten what their strengths are. But you need to remember you fell in love with this person for a reason.

And what is that reason? What was the, what were the things that you were attracted to to Begley? And people lose track and lose sight of that, and then they. Just continue going onto all the crap stuff and then you start to voice that to other people and it just magnifies and gets worse and worse. So I just wanna say, let me know if you try this and how you go, because it was a big game changer in our relationship.

And if you've got children, what you need to understand is you are modeling that for them, and your children will then model that. And it is so incredible to watch because when I see. My kids actually helping each other. So my daughter can fold really well. Her son's not only that great at doing it, so he'll go, can you do that for me?

And then he'll help her with other things. Or she'll make breakfast, but he'll do the heavy stuff that she can't do. And watching that is just beautiful because if you can shift that with your children, what kind of relationship are they gonna build? And then, Not only for themselves, but on top of that with other pe, other people, like other human beings out there.

So just a quick body. I, like I said, I woke up and I really just wanted to talk into that. So yeah, drop into me on Instagram if you're not already following me. And if you wanna learn more about relationships and how you know you can shift and how you can change your relationships. If you're new to my podcast, please know that I, my husband and I, were not in a good relationship.

You know, we had massive ups and downs and we did make drastic changes. So if you are looking to improve your relationship or even wanting to get into a relationship, but don't even know how to attract the right. Person, you can work with me one-on-one. And we also have couples retreats. Um, this one this year is already booked out, but we do have a waiting list for one next year.

Uh, definitely gonna dive more  into that and so much more.

thanks for listening. If you found value in this content, please subscribe to my podcast and head over to Instagram at elated _ you to see what I'm getting up to. Bye.